MAD CAT
Who in the world would be reading this blog??
But I still have a soft spot for it. In it's day, it stirred up the folks that needed stirring! Not that any great result came of it. Sometimes a cake is lousy no matter how much it's been stirred.
And That cake was lousy...and just got worse, as I understand it.
Actually, I'm avoiding my taxes. I came to the computer to finally do them...I did try once on Turbo Tax and found out that I owe money this year. I hate that. But here I am blogging on a defunct blog instead. Turbo Tax seemed determined to charge me money to pay the Feds money and you know that would be wrong. So I will "free file"one way or another; it all feels so terribly tedious! After a certain age, the Feds should just ignore people - or at least poor people. Now here's the irony in that. I am so poor that I have to continue to work in order the make the rent payment....and it's the working that has put me in a tax liability situation. If the cost of living was low enough that I could pay the rent from just my retirement, I wouldn't need to work, and the Feds really would just ignore me.
Tax complaints aside, we've all had enough talk about what's wrong with the government lately, so I thought I'd write about something else. I'm thinking about trying to describe my cat. I hear cat videos are big on You Tube. People are reported to be very entertained by watching cats in action. I'm not a video-taker and this cat is not a normal cat. So the Blog it must be; and I can only speculate that perhaps readers might be as entertained by reading about a cat as by watching one.
I plucked this cat out of a basket of similar kittens last year. My sensible daughter was with me to help choose and she thought this one was best. A sweet, fluffy, female kitten; a tortoiseshell coat. I love those calicos. A "little golden book" called "Kitty" is to blame for my attraction to them because it was I believe, my first book. And it featured a delightful calico cat named Kitty. I may still have it. I had another calico before this one - a spotted cat - white with sploches of red and black. She was eccentric and cranky and usually bit or scratched strangers, although she was always nice to me. My daughter having a been a victim, was there to help me avoid picking a cat with such a personality. And, as I say, we picked this one.
She may kill me in the end.
I truly have never seen anything like it - and I've been around cats for 68 years now. She seems to have a totally knee-jerk reaction to movement. If something moves in her environment, she immediate stalks then attacks it. This includes me. Thus, if I get out of bed in the night to use the facilities, she will zoom out from some dark shadow and attack my leg. If I go down the hall to the kitchen in the morning, she will attack my leg. If I cross my leg at the breakfast table, she will attack it. Furthermore, she loves moving water. Therefore, if you turn on the tap to brush your teeth, the cat will immediately occupy the sink. If you throw her outside to achieve a little peace, she will bring a live bird in through the cat door. She seems to crave interaction; she wants me to play with her during her every waking minute. If I sit down at the table, she jumps up on it and sits in front of me. If I sit down in the living room, she either lauches a stealthy attack from the back to swat me - with her claws - on my arm, exposed at the side of the chair, or grabs my feet in a wrestling sort of move - all her legs wrapped around the foot...or, if I'm lucky, she just settles down on my lap and demands that I pet her and scratch her head and ears. Those latter, are the "nice" moments with my cat.
Of course she also does the normal cat maneuver where she winds between your feet as you walk anywhere; I think she's trying to herd me toward the refrigerator where the tuna is. If you try to get away from her, she attacks your leg. Just now, she was laying behind the monitor - her back feet were sticking under it toward the keyboard. When I got up to make a cup of tea, she joined me, twisting through my feet to the kitchen. Thankfully I was carrying my spray bottle, so she didn't actually attack the leg. The spray bottle is now my constant companion. I'd like to be able to swat her with a rolled up newspaper when she does these things, but she's entirely too fast for that - she strikes and withdraws in the time it takes to raise a hand. The one weapon that is working is the spray bottle since it has some distance potential. The spray of water can travel a couple of feet, so that I can hit her even as she retreats. And (very important) my hands stay safe -you don't want your hands anywhere in range or you'll bleed. I've gone through tubes of neosporin and boxes of band-aides by now. I know.
And I've suffered a hip injury. Now I don't completely blame the cat for this, but she has certainly made recovery more challenging. When my hip is flaring up, I must hobble painfully; I do not want to perform any sudden movements that might make me put extra weight on that hip and I do not want to make any sudden twisting movements. But the cat lauching sneak attacks on my legs or creeping up behind me to cuff any exposed body part does produce those painful movements on my part...you try not reacting when your leg is clamped inside 10 sharp claws....when you know that at any moment, you may be victimized by your lovely, tortoiseshell pet. I'm always looking over my shoulder - for the cat or the spray bottle.
And I've taken to loud swearing. Good thing I live alone. I hope the neighbors can't hear me. I can use some pretty foul language.
So I figure if I don't die of a cat injury infection, or become crippled because she aggravates my hip, I'll be arrested for disturbing the peace.
I am open to advice, by the way. If anyone happening across this blog has had this experience, and knows how to modify such a cat's behavior, please do share.
